Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My ass is underappreciated
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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