the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She told me I should be a condom model.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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