Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
