They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?