I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
