i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My dad just said "fuck circus"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
