What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
