Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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