Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
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she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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