then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
foreskin is a definite game changer
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
