plz talk dirty to me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
