You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
