She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
