so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
