i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
