Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize