She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
