i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
being pregnant is like rehab
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize