Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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