Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
