He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
