I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
