I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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