my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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