Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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