I wish I only lived at night.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
