i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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