worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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