drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize