a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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