So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
