You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
