Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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