No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
