I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
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And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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