i barfeds in our rink
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
