the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
