Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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