i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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