He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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