i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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