I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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