just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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