the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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