I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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