theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
