i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
