Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
