I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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