Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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