i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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