he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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