I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
