Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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