their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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