just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well I just put wine in my tea
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
